Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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