If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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