Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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