You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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