I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
