your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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