You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
