let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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