It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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