I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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