hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize