Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
