So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
