Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
