i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
