We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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