I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize