I'm going to jail i love you
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
