Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
