we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
operation have a gay friend backfired
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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