hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
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