Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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