I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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