Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
soo... how was my night?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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