so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
