i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
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