well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
