i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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