Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
