he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
