I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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