The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
