is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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