at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Why are your pants in the freezer?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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