I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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