How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I am available for nakedness
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
