Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
