Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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