Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize