Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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