where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
