this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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