her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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