I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
