I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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