margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
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