once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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