I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Someone stole a lamp last night.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize