Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
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