"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
