He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
