Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I want to stick my p in your. b.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
