The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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