it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
