Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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