I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
