I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize