It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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