This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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