The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
honey bunches of taint.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
